Twas the night before 1st Grade.

Part of our "curriculum" this year is maintaining a blog. A space to share our daily life through pictures, projects, poetry, plays, diy videos, etc. Whatever we dream up. This is also a confessional of sorts. A place to talk through what is working for us and the struggles we face along the way.  I'm not sure what our blog will end up looking like, or how it will evolve as we move through the school year...it's only the beginning after all. It's excitingly terrifying. Like I'm going up the first big hill on a roller coaster...just hang in there with me.

So, choosing to home school is a big damn deal. Choosing to give up the few precious hours of free time a parent has during the day in order to give even more to the child that you already give everything to, is a huge sacrifice. As I mourn the loss of my limited freedom, I celebrate the opportunity to write the script. To use our family story, personal philosophies, and lifestyle choices in order to guide my child through learning to be a fully functioning adult. so, no pressure.

I spent the summer taking a homeschooling mom's course on the Internet, as well as collecting curriculum, materials and inspiration to prep for 1st grade. The home school methods I plan to use are varied, a collaboration of classical scholar and unschooling. The classical scholar method is right up my alley, a loose structure, emphasizing that children should learn skills not subjects for the K-8 years. I will have a separate post on the classical scholar method and how I used it to plan Jojo's 1st Grade school year.

Public school started a week ago, and all week I found myself torn. Am I making the right decision? Should she be in school with the other kids? Do I NEEEEED a break from her during the day? Everyone else is sending their kids to school, so shouldn't we? Can I do this, is it in me?
It's difficult to break away from the way I was raised, from the way I was taught how things are done. It's difficult to change course, and live on the outside. I like rules, structure, black and white...but I love a little chaos too. I have to step outside of myself in order to rediscover the world with my children. We can always adapt, but we can't turn back time. I have a chance to be brave and live the way I have dreamt life should be. I want to live in the great wide open. I want to show my daughter how it's done.

So here we go, chain clicking as my cart is pulled to the top, I see the drop, my stomach in my throat...I'm throwing my hands in the air and giving my best rebel yell. Bring it on roller coaster, I'm ready for the ride.

Tomorrow is the first day of first grade.